Archive for October, 2011

10/31/2011

Quote of the Indeterminate Time Interval – Sheriff Chuck Wright

by wfgodbold

At a press conference, the sheriff said:

Our form of justice is not making it.

Carry a concealed weapon. That’ll fix it. [emphasis added]

This incident is right up Sean’s Felons Behaving Badly alley.

If a felon decides that maybe he hasn’t reformed quite as much as he’d made out, the only timely defense is what you’ve got on you.

And a cell phone just isn’t going to cut it.

10/28/2011

The Man with the Machine Gun

by wfgodbold

Square was still riding high on their FF7 success when Final Fantasy VIII came out.

Unfortunately, it was a much worse game. The main character was more annoying, the battle system was annoying, the magic system was annoying, and leveling up was absolutely pointless; you could boost your power far more effectively by linking magic to various stats (and by leveling your summons).

The one character who wasn’t annoying was the other main character, Laguna Loire, a soldier who fights with a machine gun.

Not a giant sword, or a spear, or a whip, or a gunblade, but an actual machine gun.

And this is his battle theme.

Unfortunately,most of the game time was spent controlling Squall and his legally retarded band of morons.

10/27/2011

Glasnost and perestroika by Thanksgiving?

by wfgodbold

In Zuccotti Park, of course.

I particularly like this bit:

Organizers took other steps to police the squatters, who they said were lured in from other parks with the promise of free meals.

A team of 10 security volunteers moved in to the trouble-prone southwest section of Zuccotti Park in a show of force to confront them.

“We’re not going to let some members of this community destroy the whole movement,” a volunteer said.

Some arguments broke out as the security team searched tents — but no violence erupted.

Overall security at the park had deteriorated to the point where many frightened female protesters had abandoned the increasingly out-of-control occupation, security- team members said. [emphasis added]

Come to Zuccotti Park and join the great communist experiment of 2011!

Just leave your rights at the, uh, police cordon? Gate? Wall?

10/26/2011

Quote of the Indeterminate Time Interval – David Harsanyi

by wfgodbold

From his piece on luddites:

Luddites on the streets of Manhattan can demonize big oil, big food, and big pharma all day long. They can decry profit as if Satan himself invented the notion. Yet when the multinational firm GlaxoSmithKline announces, as it did last week, that it has come up with the first effective vaccine for malaria, you can bet that it would never have happened in the system they propose. And if the vaccine is successful, the company will have done more good for the world than a million marches about the evils of capitalism could ever hope to produce.

Capitalism, ho!

10/25/2011

I don’t grok Nintendo’s thought process…

by wfgodbold

As part of a way to sell more 3DS widgets, they’ve developed a steering wheel peripheral that fits on the outside of the 3DS so that you can more easily (I guess?) use the accelerometer to steer in-game.

The only problem with that plan is that the 3D effect of the screen only works if you hold the system in one position.

If you use this steering wheel doodad to play Mario Kart “3D”, you won’t actually be able to play it in 3D; you’ll have to fix the screen so that it’s displaying 2D. If you want to play in 3D, you have to hold the 3DS in the regular position without moving it to steer.

They had the same problem with Super Monkey Ball 3D; if you tilted the system to control the ball’s movement, you wouldn’t be able to see the eye-popping 3D you paid extra to get.

Well played, Nintendo. You’ve managed to come up with an entirely useless product that millions of people will nonetheless buy.

I only wish I’d thought of it first!

10/24/2011

You stay creepy, TSA

by wfgodbold

Does their inappropriateness know no bounds at all?

 

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10/22/2011

What do you mean the original novel didn’t have airships?

by wfgodbold

Paul W.S. Anderson’s vision of Dumas’s seminal work, The Three Musketeers, takes a few liberties with the source material.

The director of such classic films as Mortal Kombat, all four of the Resident Evil films, Soldier, Alien vs. Predator, and the remake of Death Race, Anderson brings his own … distinctive approach to the much-adapted novel.

It’s not going to win critical acclaim, but it does keep the action just shy of unbelievable; if you liked any of the above films, you’d probably enjoy his take on D’Artagnan and company, and their struggles against Richelieu (portrayed by Cristoph Waltz) and Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich).

It was an excellent excuse to turn my brain off and enjoy the show.

And besides, it has airships! Everyone likes airships!

I bet if he’d thought of it, Dumas would have included them in the original…

10/21/2011

Drumming is the heartbeat of the OWS movement?

by wfgodbold

Wait a minute

Look, I know people have joked about the OWS protestors being zombies before, but this changes everything!

Of course, that the drummers are the “heartbeat” of the movement could just be a coincidence.

But can we really afford to take that chance?

What would Harry Dresden do?

10/20/2011

And I thought the Shatner’s Rocket Man cover was flabbergasting

by wfgodbold

Now he’s done Bohemian Rhapsody!

He’s definitely something.

10/19/2011

And in the grand tradition of all spontaneous leftist protests…

by wfgodbold

Occupy Wall Street’s domain name was registered on July 14, 2011, just over two months before this “grass roots” movement began.

Convenient, that.

The only way OWS could be more astroturfy is if the protest were held at MetLife Stadium.

H/T Ryan.

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